I made it through the first week...sort of
Well. Here we are on the journey. I have never run a marathon. For those who have, and I know many, the first order of business or training is putting on a pair of running shoes and stepping out the door and taking the first step. The first burst of energy dissipates about 500 meters down the road as you realize just how out of shape or out of wind you have become. You begin to walk and then run again, for a few more meters, and then head home after 20 minutes. What happened? This was not part of your desire to pull off what now seems impossible. You have done one kilometre and now have 41.2 kilometres to go to reach your goal of achieving the coveted reward.
In turning to the internet and dialing up “Training to run for a Marathon” you will discover a rigorous and prolonged training regimen that is months in the making – starting small and almost innocuous, and building into a full-blown, long term schedule to accomplish what seems out of reach. Hence the Urban Monastery (UM).
It would be foolish to think that there is an end game to the UM that rivals the training for a marathon. The metaphor falls short on that point. However, the beginning steps and the attitude towards discipline are apt. It is the beginning of a prolonged journey. It is meant to supply the canvas upon which one develops a fresh view on life. A place to begin some new “I will do this” and “I will say no some other things that have defined my time”. A place to slowly build some new routines that will help me to focus on the fact that God is in my waking and sleeping, decisions and commitments, moments of temptation and moments of self-awareness…and of His overall perspective and care for me.
On two mornings this week my early reading took place mid-morning instead of first thing. Today, the noonish reading is being done at 2:30 pm. I am presently contemplating when I will do my “silence” time as I speak. The days just worked out that way. What this has done is set up a thought process that has been missing in my life…not feeling guilty…but being more aware of the fact I committed to this for a reason…to be more attentive to what God is doing and enjoying His presence. That is the central point.
You will not fail at this…you cannot…that is not the point. If the heavy hand of God was one where we must complete or somehow measure up to our own expectations, or what we think God’s are for us…we would be into a Pharisaism that Jesus loathed. Instead you will find it slowly seeping into the nooks and crannies that you have created, as you, over time, let God speak through the days and weeks to follow.
Be patient with yourself. Give this to God to find your own rhythm alongside His presence.
Walking with you.
Doug